I sit here with my vest jacket on, pausing. I think I need more coffee.

I have done my first part of my treatment and now will move my nebulizer machine onto a stool next to my treadmill to do my aerosol antibiotic on the treadmill.

I have been doing this daily as the exercise is good.

I also have been doing my Total gym every other day to work my muscles but to work out the stress of the world.

I am home, and blessed to be.

I am reading and writing, had my first online 3 hour class session yesterday. Three hours is kind of a lot online, with videos and chatting, getting used to see my face on a screen now.

I had my virtual appointment last week, and I am probably the healthiest I have been in my entire life. I don’t know my lung scores or whatever but I know some vital signs and my exercise ability. And my weight is sound as it could be.

This seems to be the growing statistics throughout the CF community, who are able to take this medication.

Physically I am doing awesome. Mentally the pandemic is challenging my baseline optimism.

I worry about all my friends and family. I worry about me too, eventually.

I say people’s names singularly and their family member names if I know them.

I say after each to “please be okay.” I think this my prayer.

There are a lot of vulnerabilities inside of each of us. Those vulnerabilities, I believe are the nugget or nuggets that gets us through all of this.

We work to conceal these vulnerabilities all day – afraid of what people may say or how the world will respond to us.

These vulnerabilities we work on daily are the engines that will literally push us through this.

Our vulnerabilities have the most practice day-in and day-out; they have the most strength; they have this phenomenal amount of endurance and perseverance.

They don’t give up. They do not know how to give up. They are the big guns 💪🏼 in our bodies.

These vulnerabilities have been working all these years. The engine is oiled. Coal is hot. Steam is arising. The Little Engine That Could – always could do.

I love you and always thinking of you.

I have to do my treadmill. ❤️