This is what I know – and it is clearly defined in my head:

When I am in pain, things are not good.

When I am not in pain, literally everything is good.

It is a perfect inverse relationship.

You know when people ask “How are you doing?” I am literally always doing good or great in life every single day – as long as I am not in pain.

I have my treatment jacket on at this moment, this is a very good thing.

Every so often my enzymes do not work. I may have eaten that same food many times, but perhaps it is the combination of foods or something I ate earlier part of the day that for some reason, here and now, my enzymes are not fully breaking down my food. I have next to the strongest enzyme on the market. I am unbelievable lucky these enzymes even exist.

I could take the strongest ones and take less of what I have, but they are gigantic. My enzymes are big enough. It looks as if someone pumped air inside those next level enzymes and I seriously question how in the world they would even go down, so I stick with mine.

Sometimes the pain comes because my pancreas just cannot chug along. It is tired and it says – “I have had enough.” I don’t ever blame my body or take anger out on my body because it doesn’t do what I want. It is literally trying every day to be here. God willing it will keep chugging along for a while yet.

I have to admit, I have been pigging out lately. I probably overdid it. However, I have been working on my landscape project; digging six inches down, moving huge bags of pavement stuff, dumping them in the wheel barrel, patting and shoveling and using my mallet to pound down bricks. I love it. It has been fun. It is an awesome workout which also means I do not have to work out inside as well. 🙂

I still have more to do but the rain keeps making the dirt muddy and it has been humid, although I think the humidity has cleared a bit. I have to check the conditions yet.

I marinated chicken in pesto, had two ears of corn, and salsa and chips. It seems harmless enough. I am not having any more corn. My fault I had two ears and should have stuck with one. The salsa should have been fine. Chips – hmm…

Before Orkambi, my cell corrector, I could not eat a normal chip for at least 15 years. I would get the baked chips or stick to pretzels. Chips should have been fine in theory because they have been. I think what set it over was the pesto, the oil that is in the pesto specifically. I usually stay away from it. My fault. I was trying something new and it sent me over.

I tried to do my treatment a couple hours after eating and I put my jacket on and it squeezed me and I felt a striking sharp pain. I felt okay during those two hours but I was lounging on my couch. I unlatched the jacket and the pain would not stop, for hours. I eventually passed out during the night but still had pain, although less intense at 3am when the dog wanted to go out.

This kind of pain makes you lose your footing and you have to lie down. It feels as if something inside of you wants to come out. It is insisting. It is a borderline obstruction or a little like intussusception. Do you know what that is? Look it up – it’s awesome.

I have had it before, like a legitimate diagnosis not just a self-diagnosis.

The more I think, it was probably that; the intensity and where it was. One causation is dehydration of the bowel. It has been humid and humidity is my greatest weakness.

A lot of “please God” and time and it subsided.

Life is so good when you are not in pain.

I have had patients say “I wish I could feel what is wrong.”

No, you don’t. You never want to feel what is wrong.

I want to say before I end, if you ever get anything from my words:

One – don’t ever ever feel sorry for me. I will never except pity. I will take it and throw it in the trash. I have been very blessed.

Two – be grateful for all your abilities. Focus only on the “I cans” in life. This machine we walk in and function within is miraculous. Every day that you can get up and grab your cup of coffee and be a vibrant and beautiful person – my God, what a blessing.

Just go with it – just live.

Thanks for listening to my PSA.