Quick update:

It appears, seemingly that the bed was the source of my ills.

A few days after we got the bed out, Sheila and I being brutes and taking it out ourselves; I coughed up crap, lots of it. A duplicate experience from when I worked at the place where there was mold.

It has been almost 3 weeks post from that incident of coughing, and I haven’t experienced a repeat – as of yet.

I am still sleeping great. There are some days I cough more than others, as I write them all down; but overall I believe less – much less.

My poor lungs have such a big job to do – working with half its ability, staff, tools, it has to rid itself of old infectious bacteria and try and keep new infectious process from coming in.

I believe that not only does a person have a conscious will, but an unconscious as well; involuntary will. A energy that is part of your soul that you may not even know or understand but springs up, rises when it is most needed. I have believed this for years –

My body is repairing and expelling infectious process all the time, without me fully knowing. It is identified in my blood work; scars in other places.

A friend of mine said to me recently, “Your body experiences a lot of trauma, not even known to you.” Is this dramatic? It could be. It does experience a lot of wear and tear.

I go for a follow-up lung function test next week; I shrug my shoulders because I have absolutely no idea where it will land that day. It is like throwing up a deck of cards and where they fall is under their own fate.

This last time after I blew a couple times, my nurse gave me the percentage as it was lower (coming to find out their PFT machine very possibly was having some issues; one reason they want me to come back); she looked at me dead-on and said the percentage; I just looked directly back, “I have no idea.”

That Big Picture is unbeknownst to me. I have no idea.

I do use my home lung function test, so I get a ballpark; the shock is less. It helps tremendously with anxiety. It was worth the thousand dollars. It is all about where you are supposed to be, where you are going, what aspects of your life align on which day, moment, second.

Because of my setback, the drugs that are more-than-likely coming out may be more readily available to me because I have been hit, in a sense, my age and prognosis.

I always have to look at the wide picture, where that sun takes over the entire horizon and you stare into it to find the answers.

I know two things; facts:

The company that produces the anti-biotic that I have been routinely on has come out with a new way of administrating it. Today it must be refrigerated, use an air compressor, and takes 25 minutes for each dose, twice a day. The anti-biotic now comes in an inhaler form; no refrigeration is needed, and takes 4 minutes each dose. This would make life exceptionally easier. It would make people be more compliant all around. I filled-out a form to have the company work with my insurance company, fingers-crossed.

The other:

If I had the opportunity, when I have the opportunity to take a medication, without adverse affects, that could alter my dysfunctional cells – that day would be the best day in my life. And then the day after that would be the best day in my life; and the next day would be the best day in my life. And when the time comes, and someone asks me in passing, “How’s it going?” My response would be, “The Best Day in my life.”

Tears surface, because the work – the work . . . And that is what I focus on.

I may need IVs, I am not sure. Frankly, besides getting the PICC placed, I would love to kill the bacteria at its core.

The Big Picture. The horizon. The unknowns. The pieces you don’t understand – it is understood by someone. Leave it there.

You do your part and a little more, sometimes a lot; and everything will work out as it is supposed to be.” – paraphrased by Veda in “Mildred Pierce”.