I chatted with a couple friends this last week and I was reminded about a couple things – and came to a couple conclusions.

One, I was saying how much I need time off. I know a lot of people do, but I am just speaking for me. I am not undercutting someone else. I am speaking for myself. I just need a break.

I started saying to my friend that when I was sick last summer, there was a little time off, but . . . then she peeps and says, “You didn’t have time off. You were sick.” She kind of chuckled, like what the fuck are you talking about?

So I admitted, “Yes, I was sick.”

Then it is tough. All my time was gone and I have had to build it back up to get time off. To get a real vacation, not recovering from crap. I am still working on that.

I am being honest that I just think it is really hard sometimes. I am not expecting any special privileges in life. I am just saying – like my friend says, “It is hard. Life is hard.”   I believe in creating your own life. You work your ass off.  It is hard.

Sigh.

Since then, to be honest, again, I haven’t looked and won’t look at any of my imaging. I don’t want to see that terrible x-ray and I haven’t looked at my follow-up x-rays. I already know enough. My follow-up to my terrible X-ray read something to the fact, “have lost volume, there is scarring, significant change from previous X-rays, consistent with cystic fibrosis changes.”

I don’t need that imprint, especially with my photographic memory.

I am, however, doing unbelievably well on Trikafta. I had a virus about three weeks ago, and I developed a short-lived infection from it. I did not need any extra antibiotics. The antibiotics that I am always was enough. Trikafta was doing its job, truly amazing.

If I had not been on the medication, I am pretty sure I would have needed more drugs. I just shake my head. I don’t even know what to say.

The second thing I learned or was reminded of when talking to a friend – I need to go back to the writer’s workshop. I booked 3 nights for an “unworkshop” at Highlights Foundation. I am not doing an official workshop but what it entails is your own private sanctuary. It can be one of those cute personal cabins or a place in the big lodge. There will be a workshop going on and there will be a few other unworkshop folks there as well. You get three phenomenal meals from their chef, sometimes a visiting chef, coffee always, and wine in the evening if you shall choose. You also get that unbelievable community of writers.

Children’s writers are some of the nicest people I have ever met. They write with their hearts. Never cruel or unkind; poetic and poignant. So, I am doing that because I need it.

Then I watched Mr. Roger’s new movie, Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood. There was this moment in the film, I will not tell you where; I have a feeling you will find it – that I just started tearing up. Tears falling down my face. Literally filled my heart.

This is what happens when you work with children, write for children. There is this space of trust that is created, and sometimes that space of trust stays with you/them forever.

I also realized I truly want to continue to write poems. A lot of them. Children and adult poems. So, that will be a continuum that I will work on without a doubt. I get the most joy out of writing poems.

Much love on this Friday eve.

Be well, and listen to your heart –

Watch this video – Bobby Banas. He danced in West Side Story.  So good. Love the way he dances –