Some days I think that cystic fibrosis is impossible or, more specifically, the things to keep going are almost impossible. The ten thousand things I am supposed to keep track of mentally and physically are almost impossible. It drives me to the edge.

Sometimes I take the biggest sigh, befuddled. You got to be kidding me.

I have heard “Perfect Plus God” and do everything and more, and then everything and more throughout my life. Focus on stamina. Focus on endurance. Focus on strength, nutrition, and exercise. Focus on sleep. Focus on your cough, breathing, and heart rate. It goes on.

And yet, how I feel about it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter.

Of course, I matter; theoretically, my feelings do matter, but it doesn’t matter – everything still has to be done.

You can be tired, crabby, angry, resentful, thankful, grateful, it doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is that it all has to get done. The treatments, the meds, the cleaning of all of it, the vitamins, the counting, the counting. The exercise, the numbers, the calculations.

People’s lives are shortened not linearly but exponentially when you shortchange tasks. You cut off 5-10 minutes here and there; you don’t finish taking your meds, drink less water, or get the proper nutrition.

It all adds up either way. You choose.

When I became an adult, I confessed to Dr. Warwick what exactly I did over the years and what I didn’t do – and he smiled. He said, “Patients do about 75-80% of what is instructed, 85% the real hard workers. We overprescribe. In reality, you did the 100%.”

I know it can be done because I have done it.

Sometimes it takes all my human capabilities.

Then I refer to Dr. Warwick’s old writings. I have old writings of his, and he writes:

“Good health and long life with cystic fibrosis depend on regular preventive care and a bit of luck. Success with attaining regular preventative care depends on the faith the patient and family have in their knowledge of CF and in the abilities of their CF caregiver, on their hope that their use of preventive care will reduce CF risk factors close to normal and so increase chances of staying well. In becoming skilled in coping, they will be in control of both preventive treatments in their otherwise normal life.“

He continues:

“Whether my vision and hope for [the] almost complete elimination of CF problems from the clinic and hospital will be the means for achieving this goal, I am optimistic that the goal will be achieved because there are so many other scientists and physicians who are also working with other approaches to achieve this.

We (patients, families, husbands, wives, children, physicians, nurses, respiratory technicians, dieticians, secretaries, researchers, Foundations, and friends) can, working together, achieve this.

Practice hope.

Promote hope.

Never do anything that may take hope away from any patient or family.

– Dr. Warren Warwick November 22, 2003

Becoming skilled in coping is equal to the doing.

That’s how the impossible becomes possible.

Lord have Mercy.