“In order to get a friend, you have to be a friend…” – Maya Angelou

When I heard this quote – I knew it was relative to friends outside of me, but I always think about being friends with myself first. I must be friends with me before anyone else, because plainly I will make a horrible friend otherwise. So, there is sometimes where I wish to write all my dear friends and say –

I am not ignoring you, or angry by any means, or even trying to be anti-social. There are many times that I just can’t socialize, and I am probably being anti-social by default.

For me to do what I must do, to be present every day, and show up for life, I am taking time to be friends with myself. And there is a lot of time involved to do that.

Sometimes to be honest, it is a lot of self-talk, trying to focus on positive words, meditation, alike. Other times, it is rejuvenation by reading, writing, and eating.

Then, there is the actual work – exercise, treatments, keeping track and up-to-date with my medication inventory, making sure all my equipment is clean and in working condition, and talking to Sheila about everything and more. Then there is the occasional breakdown from time-to-time, mostly from exhaustion.

I am always striving to continue and trust that everything will be alright.

That everything is exactly how it is supposed to be, that the best is yet to come, and to never be bitter – only better.

To look over to my right and my left and listen, and never forget that others have trials just as well.

To always look at new ways of doing things, and to HOPE new ways will find me if I allow and provide a space for clarity.

So my dear friends, I am never ignoring you, or trying not to talk to you. But simply I only have so much energy and time to be my best friend first, otherwise I am no good to anyone.

I love you dearly and I would not be here without you.