I recently started talking to someone, a professional. Someone separate from the hospital. A different space.

I caught myself a couple times saying or thinking, “I think I need to speak to someone.” My brain notes – I am speaking up which I do not always do.

I always have someone I can talk to, but I just wanted a space just to say “Hey – this is what is up.”

I want to make sure I am on a healthy wave of thinking. It is about goals for sure – but also financial, health, school, and life.

What is great, they always clear the branches or help you strip the paint off that old piece of furniture. Maybe revarnish it or even repaint it at the end of all that work, then you go on Flea Market Flip. I love that show.

Truthfully, they make you go, “Hey – I didn’t think of that.” Bam. Life looks a lot clearer.

There is no shame in seeing someone, and that is why I am saying it.

On that note – I was talking to my friend who is basically my financial advisor. Interest rates have come down a little right now. Pay attention – you may be able to save some money.

During our conversation, she as well didn’t know I was not feeling well. I broke it down and she asked, “So what have you learned?”

One thing I have learned is as soon as I get symptoms, I need to go to any doctor and see what virus it may be. I asked about this in the hospital, as everyone always says “Stay home” if you have the flu or cold symptoms.

They said for me, “No. Go in. Find out what virus, so we can start treating you right away.” So learned that.

I said I was doing everything I was supposed to be doing. My friend, she is a baller. She will laugh. She said, “Ok . . .” And then I think she was almost going to say, “You should have called sooner.” And yes – I should have called sooner.

Then, I decided, if I am unable to get to MN. I think I am going to go to Newton-Wellesley. They treat CFers routinely. It is closer to my house and it is a really good hospital. Newton is aligned with MGH, and Children’s is aligned with BWH.

However, just because they have their politics doesn’t mean I have to follow suit. I could just “end up” in the ER. Your outpatient doc doesn’t follow you in-house. In MN, my doc came and saw me but she didn’t write orders.

But, mandatory – right out of the gate, I would do four treatments and have PFTs done while in the hospital.

This is a plan. I have made the executive decision just now.

There is this moment when I was in-house that keeps coming back to me – One day I ventured outside and sat on this half brick wall. I only had a small window of opportunity between drugs being switched and therapies so was enjoying the fresh air and sun.

I said to myself, “I am fucking 42 years old. I am not 22. Yeah, I am on oxygen. Yeah, I don’t want to be. My oxygen levels could be better, but I am fucking 42.” It just kind of clicked and I thought, I can do this. I jumped off the wall and walked back in.

Oh – I get stop the blood thinner as of today. It’s been about 3-months, which is kind of their measure of time. No more weekly sticks. I told the pharmacist, “I’m kind of done. My veins are tired.” Yay!!

Still loving the drug. I may be getting the new drug soon. Will see when it arrives –

Trikafta is rolling out to patients, pretty cool to see.

Younger people are going to have such a different trajectory in life. Thank God.

Much love.