I have been reading a fair amount this winter break from school, but I think my neurons have been a bit fried to write all that much.

I have been sleeping a lot. But I have been getting the best sleep I think ever have. My educated guess is because my body is functioning with less resistance or just allowed to rest.

I feel like this medication is the tool, or The three tools that my body has been working without all these years. Now that the tools are in place, my engine is running smoother, the gears are turning, and my body is working almost automatically.  It is saying, “You rest, step aside, let us take over.” 

I have never had this before. I have always had to make the machine run by me getting up and making the machine work. Almost mind first then body.

I have gained some weight, which they said would happen. I think it’s part of the whole less energy needed to survive thing, and the calories just hang on.

I feel stronger and I think I am. I have been able to do more exercise reps and sets than I normally do, and overall the exercises are easier. And still –  I am not coughing.

Coughing overtime feels like you are getting pushed around and almost punched from the inside. It’s terrible.

I am not exactly sure where my lung capacity is at. I am also being honest with myself that it may show improvement, or it may not. Or it may take a long time to heal. But, physically I can almost say I feel as if I am almost reversing in age, maybe.

However, I had been aging at an accelerated rate for quite some time compared to people in my age group.

What do I know? That I am sleeping really well. I am not coughing and I thankful beyond what I can say or do or be.

One of my respiratory techs in Minnesota is married to a CFer, and he is post transplant, doing well. She said, “You don’t realize how much medical paraphernalia you have and the room and space and time it all takes until you don’t have to do it.”

I write this wondering . . .

Post transplant people still have to do treatments but usually it decreased in size and time.

She said this delicately knowing I was sitting the hospital, doing my treatments and junk, but sipping my latte along the way.

I recently finished listening to Becoming by Michelle Obama in my car. I am moving onto one of Obama’s books. These two can make you think you can change the world.

I am taking a memoir class this semester. Should be interesting. I just got my book list. You can tell a lot about a class by the book list.

Why Be Happy When You Can Be Normal? – Jeanette Winterson

Situation & the Story – Vivian Gornick

This Boy’s Life – Tobias Wolff

Fierce Attachments – Vivian Gornick, again

Year of Magical Thinking – Joan Didion. I have read this before. Don’t be fooled, this book can ground you and change you.

See the cover – the letters J-O-H-N are in blue, faintly – it’s a dedication to her husband and her love for him. That’s one part of the book. There is more.

Truth & Beauty – Ann Patchett

Moveable Feast – Hemingway. Not sure about this one yet.

All Souls: Family Story from Southie – Michael MacDonald

Between the World & Me – Ta-Nehisi Coates

Crossing – Samar Yazbek

Argonauts – Maggie Nelson

I listened to this interesting podcast the other day. It is good. Check it out.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/revisionist-history/id1119389968?i=1000451855699

Life is quite peculiar. Thank you, Life, for being so.

Much love.