To Be Thankful –

My Tobi Pod-inhaler and I have made it over the hump I think. I started writing this blog a few days ago when I thought I was getting over this hump with this new med, but as it turns out – it has lasted a week longer. The last two weeks have been a bit rough, but the last two nights I have finally gotten sleep for consecutive hours. It may change tonight, but two days is a good sign.

Today my lungs feel a bit raw. My treatment actually feels kind of good; maybe it is the moisture my lungs are receiving.

This constant irritation has been extraordinarily annoying. It feels like rubbing two pieces of sandpaper together, constant friction and irritation and then a punch. It inflames the lining and makes me want to cough which continues the cycle. I am thankful that my lungs do not want the unwanted organisms, but tiring nonetheless.

Besides being thankful for sleep, my exercise endurance has increased after two weeks of doing the treadmill. I thought my heart monitor was lying, but after a couple more times it is consistent. Just after two weeks my heart is in better shape, just think of what you can do.

Something to be thankful for as well, ecstatically – I found a lump two weeks ago on my side, on my hip/back/waistline. I have two similar bumps on my forearm for 10-15 years, so hoping they were the same. Although I have never gotten an exact diagnosis of these lumps because they have remained stable and unchanged.

I called my PCP and got in to see her the same day, although making me late for work a few minutes. I got an ultrasound two days later and after having the chief radiologist come in to verify, since the lipoma wasn’t presenting in complete character, a lipoma diagnosis was confirmed. It is a non-cancerous fatty tissue of sorts, what my PCP believed it to be. It was actually quite helpful to have these two on my arm to compare, and for as many years I have had them. To be thankful for a fatty cell – who knew? They feel like a small marble under your skin. Thus – I am a fatty cell.

Again, I know absolutely nothing. In those moments of nothing I know it is temporary. In those temporary moments I try to absorb as much as I can of those good moments and hopefully allow the bad to pass through me, never to sit with me along enough to stir, because all we have is now.

Some people would say “This shall to will pass”, which actually isn’t the Bible, but a paraphrasing of passages. I use temporary, it fits me better.

Now “everything” can be any time frame; it can be a second, to a year, or longer. And then a voice tells me which things I will allow in my life and which things I need to change, between the bursts of unwanted moments. Some things I adapt to and some things I say “This will never happen again” – and then finding the wisdom.

I have to keep in mind good moments and unwanted moments are temporary – all moments. But, if you surround yourself and do things daily that inspire you – the good moments stretch, last longer and become prominent in your life.

Relative to my health – the reason I was born with this, the lessons and values unknown today; while the frustrations and pain are all temporary. There is a story being told, but I don’t know what it is; as with each life. My baseline is different from many, but it is similar to many as well – so I must listen and pay attention. If I continue to ask questions, continue to search, and in many occasions I do this by pushing through. I have learned to sit more, enjoy; but when things get hard I just push, and I don’t know where it comes from.

Ways in which I have learned to push through are through my friends. Two of my friends, Amy and Corrine, are two strong, healthy, full of life women whom are both 20 years older than me. Their strength comes from within and radiates out, and their beauty is seen from the outside and connects to their spirits within.

Each of them have individual physical challenges, of course, but don’t sit out on life. My friend, Amy, has rheumatoid arthritis and cannot eat gluten which are both phenomenal challenges, but became a yoga instructor in spite of it. My friend, Corrine, has run I will say at least 12 marathons, but I know I am not correct on that number. She had her hip replaced recently and now her other hip is giving her trouble. Running is oxygen for her, so evaluation on her other hip is in her future. Her love and spirit is infectious. She has reinvented herself several times in her life and shines – literally shines.

I am honored to be their friends, as with all my friends, as I try and do what I can to shine with-my-fatty-cells.