One of my favorite things in the world is not coughing. It is the small things. In my case, probably not so small. I, thankfully, got a PICC placed yesterday as an outpatient. Two-weeks of potent, knock the socks off of you, drugs. The infusion nurse asked me yesterday if I was nervous. I am […]
Just Stop. Listen.
Yesterday I turned 37, nearing 40. I have many goals for myself – striving to make 40, Fabulous 40. I want to feel strong, focused, and feel damn good. I have a list of objectives, of course. I want to feel and be better than ever. Just making that declaration is a good place to […]
Numbers
As I was trying to fall asleep last night the words “numbers” kept circling. I decided it is time to talk more about my hospital stay, since numbers are everything. When I am admitted the over-arching goal is to get my PICC placed and start my antibiotics to get my “levels.” The PICC line is […]
Dear Friends
“In order to get a friend, you have to be a friend…” – Maya Angelou When I heard this quote – I knew it was relative to friends outside of me, but I always think about being friends with myself first. I must be friends with me before anyone else, because plainly I will make […]
Cue it
I love a full sound, a full orchestral sound. Your hairs stand and it feels as if the music is coming from inside and echoes, shakes, stirs, swirls around you – wrapping you in this cloth of sound. It feels limitless, boundless. This is my wish. The last two weeks have been extremely difficult. I […]
Say It
On “Oprah’s Soul Sunday” series she asks each person she interviews “What has been the most difficult thing for you to learn?” I would answer, “To live.” “To thrive.” Sheila and I have talked about when people have asked, “If I ever thought I would be married to a woman?” No, I never thought I […]
Gratitude, again
There has been a few times when I wanted to write, but I resist. I am resistant to complain, putting out my complaints and my frustrations out into the world. Not that they aren’t valid – because objectively they are. I often ask Sheila, “Just looking at this face value, this is something to be […]
Tap-Tap
I have not written in a while because I wanted to see how I am doing, testing the ground, before I wrote about it. Just had another follow-up appointment with my doctor – went great. This is the first time in all my life that I didn’t even look at my PFT scores. They said […]
Words
I may write more about my experience in the hospital, I know it will come up. But, my mind isn’t there at this moment. When you give in, the things you want least can become the exact thing you need. I am reprinting. I wrote a lot about CF, my personal experience with CF years […]
Stop
I wrote this a couple days before I went into the hospital. I am going to leave it as is. Mucus, mucus, and more mucus is the theme. I am in a cycle I need to get out of. I tried the fancy Tobi podinhaler that saved me 17 hours of therapy time – but […]