Gosh. I came home and did my 3-minute machine and then changed to do my treadmill – I could definitely feel my sugars getting low.  I had a snack bar in the car but perhaps, I guess, not quite enough.

So – I did 15 minutes, had to stop, eat, and now I am finishing up my treatment.

I did, however, talk to two friends on my way home from work on that handy dandy Bluetooth gizmo. That takes up energy.

One friend had texted me about some juxtapositions in her life – and then she reminded me about my door karma. What was that about and how did I fix it?

For years, I mean years – I had this door situation. I even remember being as young as eight or nine and my mom and I were in the car and she was driving and her car door flung open on the highway. We weren’t going very fast, yet her door flung open. This is when the doors were made of metal, they were heavy and large. It was a two-door car, not four doors. So when it flung, it swung as if the wind took it.

I asked my mother years later if I had remembered that incident correctly. Yes, the door did swing open and my mom was not wearing a seatbelt.

A second separate story I remember being in that car,  the same car. A large looming shadow started to hover over us. It got larger and larger where we could only see the shadow, and the noise filled our eardrums.

Did a plane almost land on our car? “Yes.” And then it pulled up again. Excellent, wonderful memories.

Back to my door situation – then in my late teens I was in the car with a friend, and my car door swung open while she was driving. I had my seatbelt on, luckily. Again not going too fast. I just looked at my friend and said, “Car door!” She yelled and stopped the car.

There was nothing wrong with the locks or latch far as she knew. It had never happened before. My heart and her heart calmed down. I closed the door, locked them, and continued on.

Then, for years I ran into doors, doors would slam in my face, and it wasn’t like people were trying to slam them – they just let go and they hit me. Almost like getting hit with a volleyball or basketball in the face.

I would open a door and something or someone would be right there and we would almost collide.

There were some doors without any windows on them and one time I leaned into opening this door because it was solid and old. I took both of my hands and pushed the door open. At that exact same time – someone on the other side opened the door.

I went flying – superman, ka-boom! My knee twitched out of place and I landed with my arms out in front of me on my stomach.

The guy stood there with his hands up like “What-the-hell.” I made a big noise and people came running as I laid there face down.

This went on and on. I had revolving door issues. The door would go and stop suddenly. Smack. Someone would try and jump into my revolving door space- why? And it did not work and stopped the thing, or they almost walked on my heels. What the hell.

The superman fly-through was the worst. I remember thinking, I have got to get a handle on this.

I did. I moved to Boston. I knew the energy I was up against was fighting me – clearly. I was out of synch with the message life was telling me.

When I moved out here, my door karma cleared up. I haven’t had a bold in-your-face incident since. I feel confident in saying this being 15 years here.

This is what I know about life – if you listen, or are open to listening, life will tell you exactly what you should be doing. Sometimes, it does take many doors hitting you in the face.

I have been listening and I want to write to poems. I have this poetry project in mind that I really want to move forward with.

I see future writing workshops – actually a nonworkshop I would like to go to Highlights again. I would like to stay for a couple nights, getting three wonderful meals a day, and being out there in Pennsylvania – way out there. It’s just beautiful.

I want to go places that inspire me to write – more.

I want to write a children’s book. I have one in mind. It is more of a picture book I guess.

Thoughts and repeated thoughts create your life, right.

Your surroundings create those thoughts, and sometimes we have to take two steps and look out beyond the rim of our nose and see what is possible.

This is what I hope to do – ❤️

Sigh. I have to do my other 3-minute med and get ready for bed. I think I am going to write a poem this weekend. I am going to do something a little different.

Much love. I have friends that are in chronic pain, have deep or experiencing deep loss in their life, and are always trying with all of that to live their best high platform lives. I am thinking of you. Hugs.

I love this poem by Mary Oliver – hope you enjoy.

The Summer Day

Who made the world?
Who made the swan, and the black bear?
Who made the grasshopper, I mean –
the one who has flung herself out of the grass,
the one who is eating sugar out my hand,
who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down –
who is gazing around the her enormous and complicated eyes.
Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.
Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.
I don’t know exactly what a prayer is.
I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down
into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,
how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,
which is what i have been doing all day.
Tell me, what else should I have done?
Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon?
Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?