Preface: This is probably the most difficult thing I have written in my life. I realized two things after I wrote this – I am writing and posting from a place of strength and I did not do anything wrong. One of my dearest friends says to me, “You have to let it go.” So, […]
Author Archives: Tessa
Palms Up
It is tough business getting older. I wouldn’t recommend it. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be here but being human is a complex business to handle. Each year as my birthday approaches, it is like Steven Tyler singing those high “Dream On” cords, Axel rose screaming into the microphone, Slash whaling on his […]
God Willing
I have been doing this a long time – managing my health; overcoming, breathing, believing in the miracle of what can be, what honestly what should be. In what I see life could be, given thought, openness, gratitude, and for fuck sake, some fucking relief. A pause. A stopping of the continuum, to look at […]
Simply
“Happiness is having that one friend who calls you up out of the blue to find out how you are, listens a little as you jabber and indicate you were about to mow the lawn, and then shows up while you are mowing the lawn with all the ingredients for dinner, makes the dinner while […]
Forging Ahead
Forging ahead in order to return. This is what I have done my whole life. From the time I was born, to the time of diagnosis weighing 9lbs at 9 months; then even after diagnosis, still only weighing 12 pounds at 12 months. From those early years of fighting for my life, even when I […]
Who Knew?
It all returns to gratitude. It is like wiping your shoes at the door, taking that step in, and leaving the word’s stress at the door. Opening your arms to the hugs and smiles you left just a few hours before. Each sunrise, followed by putting the day to rest. The sand between your toes, […]
Mind Over Matter
Mind over matter; matter over mind. The dichotomy: I can do anything – Then, the disease is so much more powerful than I can ever comprehend – who the hell do I think I am? Mind over matter; matter over mind. I have come to the conclusion that ever since I can remember, I have […]
I will
I have so many thoughts swimming around in my head – let me see if I can make sense of it. First, I have struggling these last couple weeks. Many times I do not say a thing – cause really who wants to hear this bullshit? I don’t. It is just an ear-piercing song replaying […]
One Perfect Sentence
This is supposed to be a writing prompt to get my mind going. Since I hadn’t written in a bit, I thought I would write it here. The writing prompt asks what is my favorite lyric and why? Hard to pinpoint my favorite lyric – but this one replays in my head countless times: “I […]
Stillness
Stillness – I love that word. It isn’t seeking peace, or quiet, but being still within. The energy surrounding me at this very moment is kinetic. The energy is passing through me and around me. Yet – I must remain still. What is seemingly contradictory about this is whenever I write, I listen to the […]
