Kate Winslet – she is a beautiful woman. She has always been a beautiful woman. I have had a crush on Kate for over 20 years.

The first time I saw her was in Sense and Sensibility in 1995 and I thought I just loved the movie, and I do, but I really adore Kate.

She is strong and vulnerable. She is healthy and curvy. Her skin gleams. She is striking in anything she wears – dresses, pants, shimmery blouses. Her British accent! The brave roles in which she chooses.  She just gets me.

Then a few years later a friend of mine, Amy, who frightened me at first because she is a  butch lesbian; her legs were like trees. She could move a car with her legs. She kept telling me I was gay. I kept saying, “I don’t know about that.”

Then, she took me to a lesbian bar, I was about 22 at the time. I was very scared.

She walked in before me and I followed her in and I started perspiring, and my hands felt shaky, and my heart was literally fluttering, really it was pounding. I couldn’t find my words. I saw all these beautiful women and thought I cannot take this.

I would smile and try to make polite conversation. I am not sure if I could speak in sentences. I am sure I did. Then these beautiful women would look at me, just talking, and I would be like oh-my-God.  This was before “OMG.’

I would make a joke or something because I have this nonsense nervousness buzzing around inside.

I just always thought be kind and always respect a woman even if I couldn’t get my words out. Smile, shake hands, and run out as fast as you can if you can’t take it anymore, you know the nervousness.

“See I told ya,” Amy said while we left, and then the next day after that, and the next day after that.

Around that time, a friend of mine, Jeffrey, introduced me to Judy Garland. I had only seen her in The Wizard of Oz of course, right. He’s like, “Oh no, honey. Have you seen Summer Stock, A Star is Born,  Meet Me In St. Louis, Till The Clouds Roll By?” 

Nope. Not at all.

My friend then began to school me and loaned me each of her films. He had a ton. I didn’t watch them all, but many. Eventually, he gave most of them to me as he replaced them with DVDs.

I think the world of Judy, and I have had a crush on her since then. I can understand why the many men were wooed by her – how can you not be?

Here are a few of my favorite – you will feel better too.

This is what a first crush, first love feels like – She did this in one take.

From Summer Stock, “If you feel like singing, sing.”  I love the line, “If you can’t sing good, sing soft.”

She is unbelievably beautiful in overalls even. Later there is some contention with this tractor and shows real gumption, sticking up for herself.

The studio wanted her to wear a darker and vertical-line dress because she was chubby to them.  This was after Liza was born. Give her a break. Look how she keeps up with Gene.

Then – who can match Barbra? Judy can.

Much love to everyone. Sigh. ❤️