Natalie Merchant and the 10,000 Maniacs – brings me right home. The MTV unplugged album. It settles in like a cozy blanket and a good book.

Countless hours I spent listening to this album and studying away. The melody and beats open the door to you, giving you just-the-right-amount-of time to cross the threshold. Extending its hand to you; it always welcomes, never demands.

Don’t you wish everything was like that in life?

Today I climbed 46 floors of stairs – harder than ever. My heartrate kept getting in front of me.

There is a time when one is too proactive, I think that was today.

I did my rescue inhaler 15 minutes before we started, thinking it would open up my lungs more. It does, but it also raises my heartrate. That was an afterthought, and it was much too late for my lungs to settle back in before the puff of air. I knew that, but somehow I forgot. Ho-hum . . .

It makes sense because I have been climbing stairs at work, 16 floors in 4 and half minutes without stopping. My heartrate was hitting its’ ceiling at the 10th floor and I was like, “This isn’t right.”

It was hot. Sweat dripped down my face. Around the 30th floor they had recently painted and the smell was potent, made it more trying.

But, the numbers didn’t match. Higher altitude yes – but I can do better. I couldn’t get my pace, because my heart couldn’t find its pace.

This is my most educated guess.

Side point: I do take note that I have lost lung capacity since 2 years ago, having had 3 rounds of IV antibiotics, but the recent numbers still don’t add up.

Until next time –
I still did a great job.
I made it even with a higher time than I would have liked.

But, there is more to do, more to be done.
It only lights me inside more to continue on –

Thank you everyone for what you give me.
I am blessed each and every day.

The winds tumble,
Rescuing and recovering
The hearts of the fallen.
Only to rise, grow,
And glow again.

Never to be taken down,
Never to be forgotten,
Never to be held back,
Never to be stolen.

Only to be held,
For the stronger,
Allowing the light to cast our path.
For what we know,
And for what we think we almost forget,
But never truly do.