For two nights I have gotten real sleep. Seriously the best thing in the world.

I got my PICC out on Tuesday which now leaves for the real healing to begin.

IV antibiotics tear your gut apart. I have been on a real good probiotic and eating yogurt once or twice a day – still, the antibiotics are tough.

Dr. Billings in MN and Dr. Donovan in Boston agreed to stop the IVs, and no orals. However, I pick back up in my inhaled antibiotic as per routine, which is good.

Note: I have written in the past, but a good to think about – IVs and orals you build a resistance against, not inhaled. IVs and orals go in your bloodstream and pass through your liver and heart, inhaled do not go directly in your bloodstream.

I am stable and my PFTs are up from the hospital. However, I have much work to do in the category. Dr. Billings says it can take weeks, months for the lungs to heal.

Signs of healing begin with me. I set the pace, direction, which is true for everyone. There is still a collective at work here as well.

They often use the term symptomatically. How am I feeling? What are my symptoms? Then they go through the list: trouble breathing, tightness in chest, gut, fevers, sleep, walking, and lightheadedness, etc.

So, if symptomatically I am good then my numbers should follow if they are not there yet.

With my oxygen, I symptomatically started as if breathing was easier, and more airflow was moving through my lungs, so I started weaning myself off of oxygen. I did it slowly, of course.

In the beginning they had me on a more advanced oxygen airflow thing – it was nice because it moistened the air and it allowed me to take in oxygen better, and it calmed my heart. Took a little to get used to but then it was nice.

To get off all this – I took deep breaths and watched the oxygen monitor. I did it one liter at a time. The nurse adjusted the oxygen one time, as well. Then when I got to two liters, my friend, Jen, said, “That is practically room air!”

Eventually, I took off the oxygen altogether and took deep breaths. I sat breathing room air and it was fabulous.

I told the nurses each time I did this when they came in the room. I was getting my vitals every four-hours as well.

So – how do I improve my PFT numbers?

Lots of treatments.
Exercise.
Good nutrition (weight gain).
Sleep.
Love.
Laughter.
Low stress – or positive stress, and onwards . . .
Coffee.

Let me tell you a little secret. I love school – I do. Yet, it does come with some stress.

When I have been out of school, life only gives me other challenges and some challenges where I feel as if I am a hamster or a cat chasing her tail.

I believe there is always a certain amount of stress in life – positive and not so positive – school is a positive stressor for me. It fills some of that cup of stress that in some way seems has to be in life.

Some of this pushes you forward and you become a person you never thought you could be or even know. Doors open, hell whole gates, lands. It is part of life.

So – if it is part of life, I want to do something that gives me joy in the making.

This whole picture has been a lot, I am not going to lie. The blood clot in my arm caused a wrinkle, a crinkle. But, my labs are where they are supposed to be now, and I don’t have to give my self-injections anymore, or so it seems.

To note: just like with most things when a nurse or physician starts to talk to me about the wilderness out there, I have a slice of denial, then it turns into Okay. Then auto-pilot takes because I have to do it.

Eventually, I start to form an opinion. Giving myself injections, was really low on the list of things I liked to do. I saw one, or a couple in the hospital and did one.

I also knew it was temporary. I am thankful for their life-saving properties as well.

A few things I kept saying to myself all along and some still do:
I am going to be Okay. Ann says I will be Okay.
Breathe. Inhale. Calm. Saying calm repeatedly actually works.
You can do this, Tessa.
Look at my fat feet, that’s new.
I would like to see my ankle bones again.
Oh, look ankle bones!

Thank you. #blessed Much love.

post script: To help me in the real healing to begin part, I had watched all of Queer Eye and Jonathan Van Ness and he gives some nice beauty tips. Your hair and skin can get dry with all the IVs – so, youtube and #jvn

Check out this website:
https://www.retailmenot.com/blog/beauty-products-inspired-by-queer-eye-jonathan-van-ness.html