Forging Ahead

Forging ahead in order to return. This is what I have done my whole life.  From the time I was born, to the time of diagnosis weighing 9lbs at 9 months; then even after diagnosis, still only weighing 12 pounds at 12 months.  From those early years of fighting for my life, even when I […]

Who Knew?

It all returns to gratitude. It is like wiping your shoes at the door, taking that step in, and leaving the word’s stress at the door. Opening your arms to the hugs and smiles you left just a few hours before. Each sunrise, followed by putting the day to rest. The sand between your toes, […]

Mind Over Matter

Mind over matter; matter over mind. The dichotomy: I can do anything – Then, the disease is so much more powerful than I can ever comprehend – who the hell do I think I am? Mind over matter; matter over mind. I have come to the conclusion that ever since I can remember, I have […]

I will

I have so many thoughts swimming around in my head – let me see if I can make sense of it. First, I have struggling these last couple weeks. Many times I do not say a thing – cause really who wants to hear this bullshit? I don’t. It is just an ear-piercing song replaying […]

One Perfect Sentence

This is supposed to be a writing prompt to get my mind going. Since I hadn’t written in a bit, I thought I would write it here. The writing prompt asks what is my favorite lyric and why? Hard to pinpoint my favorite lyric – but this one replays in my head countless times: “I […]

Stillness

Stillness – I love that word. It isn’t seeking peace, or quiet, but being still within. The energy surrounding me at this very moment is kinetic. The energy is passing through me and around me. Yet – I must remain still. What is seemingly contradictory about this is whenever I write, I listen to the […]

Filling My Heart

Today is one of these days when I feel blessed for everything in life. To tell you the truth it wouldn’t be because my health is outstanding, because it is not. I do the best that I can with what I have. It is a constant challenge. I work to my max mentally and physically […]

All Better Now

Today I found out my Dr. will not be available to see me next Monday for my appointment.  A smile comes to my face.  One less thing.  Get my tests done and hit the pavement as fast as I can. As Sheila said today, “I can pretty much hear what he will say anyway.” Things […]

How does one say thank you each and every day of one’s life? I feel as I travel through each day weaving in and out of people’s lives, their stories, their suffering, and their blessings – and I am surrounded, cushioned, almost held by an infinite amount of energy keeping me alive. I feel an […]

Stronger

I often have a vision of myself sprinting, gliding, and sometimes casually walking on water. There is always a deep sunset in the background. It is almost black but then the reds and oranges cast just above the water, slicing the sky and the body of water in half. I have no true feeling of […]