Love Is

Something that I learned this during this last semester – which reminds me I need to check and see if I got my grade again; I really enjoy reading other people’s poetry.

I loved and was in awe of a couple classmates use of words, and the fact that they knew these words. I then realized how much I need to work on my vocabulary. I decided to make a binder of words – which I started. It’s pretty fun.

I am not going to write the definitions, just need a pool of words to choose from, like picking flowers. There is a feeling, a reason why you are drawn to one word or flower over the next – and it feels good in the palm of your hand.

Poetry is like Tetris with words. You try to make sense and perhaps draw out some sort of meaning . . . if you want. But, while putting the syllables, rhymes, slant rhymes (which I am not that good at), lines, and stanzas together – it’s like Tetris for words.

One of my favorite things is when writers share other writers work – I am going to try and do that with the author’s permission. It is fun, and it is nice to be introduced to other peoples’ work.

Side note – switch – I have had an annoying occurrence with a medication of mine this week. Shocking. Apparently commercial insurances just won’t cover PPI’s anymore (ant-acids); however, when you run my insurance it says I need a Prior auth (PA), while not out-right refusing it.

I tried to do a refill, and it said I needed a PA. I emailed the Children’s PA team. That is when the woman said, whom I have spoken to in the past that all commercial insurances don’t cover anymore.

I thought bullshit – I called the pharmacist in MN and asked if she had heard of this. She said, “Many don’t for general GERD, but if you write a PA in such a way, it most often goes through.” I am optimistically cautious – as always. She asked me if they actually submitted one. I then asked if I could have her help with this, and she said of course.

I emailed Children’s on Tuesday and they said they did not submit a PA for reasons stated above, but she would do so on my behalf. She continued by saying she will let me know what she hears (most PAs, 24-36 hours). I just emailed her – she is out until next Tuesday.

MN will never, won’t ever, let things drop through the cracks. Ever. I am telling you.

Someone will probably email me back tomorrow from Children’s, but now I am just going to tag in the pharmacist from MN, she suggested just giving them her contact info.

Importance, very quickly here: I have been a PPI since I could swallow pills. My enzymes create a lot of acid, and if your Ph in your stomach isn’t at the perfect level for digestion you get gas, bloating, malabsorption, or diarrhea. I am talking tenths of a point. And actually, the acid has to be at a certain Ph for the enzymes to work – not be eaten up by the acid and for the enzymes to open and do their job – this is for everyone mind you. Ph balance in your gut is really important. This is one way CF people lose weight and aren’t able to gain – Ph level is off for the enzymes to actually absorb. There are actually special infant PPI’s as well, because certain organs aren’t fully matured or functioning yet.

Two: if you ever get heartburn from coughing so much, well that’s because the sphincters open and the acid spills into your lungs, or you just plain aspirate on your own stomach acid. Your lungs restrict, inflame, and you cough more. It’s an awesome cycle. So – you have to calm that acid down. It also tears in your esophagus lining as well, which is dangerous.

The only side-effect I have from my new pill – which isn’t much, is my new pill makes my PPI not work as well, so I had to double the dose and frequency. Insurances hate that.

I can buy it over-the-counter – it will double my cost.

I always believe whole-heartedly everything always works out in time. Everything. I have seen it a hundred times – I am not embellishing. You have to be dedicated though.

I remember the time I had to petition, or what you would call emancipation today, from my parents to receive federal loans without my parents’ income. My mom refused to sign my FAFSA or give their income information.
I got the money narrowly in time, even though classes started. Everything works out.

Time to request Madonna tickets. Good luck to me. And I just want to share this lovely, lovely sonnet from Lin-Manuel Miranda when he won the Tony award for “Hamilton.” That was really the intention of this, but then I got that email. Here it is –

My wife’s the reason anything gets done.
She nudges me towards promise by degrees.
She is a perfect symphony of one,
our son is her most beautiful reprise.

We chase the melodies that seem to find us
until they’re finished songs and start to play.
When senseless acts of tragedy remind us
that nothing here is promised, not one day.

This show is proof that history remembers.
We live through times when hate and fear seem stronger.
We rise and fall and light from dying embers.
Remembrances that hope and love live longer.

And love is love is love is love is love
is love is love cannot be killed or swept aside.
As sacred as a symphony, Eliza tells her story
and fills the world with music love and pride.