I have been reading a lot. I am trying to get my head around the literature I am reading for my final project in school. I have time yet – but time goes by fast, slow, and then fast again and I don’t want that anxiety feeling.

I had a meeting with my professor during the winter semester and he asked me if I wanted to go continue in school. What do I want to do with the scholarship in which I have learned, if anything?

I want to break away for a moment – if you ever have the want or ability to continue on with school, do it.

In grad school, professors will often greet you and say, “Hello, Scholars.” At first, of course, in your mind, you say, “Scholar? I just got here.” Imposter syndrome magnified.

From the beginning, professors encourage you to be a part of the conversation.

We read a lot; there are a lot of scholars who contribute to the conversation, and when you read, you notice they talk to one another. They aren’t arguing like in politics, they are having an actual conversation in long-form. It is so good to have these conversations in long-form.

They write about their ideas and highlight others. Some just say – “Hey – this is what I have been thinking – what do you think?”

There are some conversations that just raise the roof – things that people have been thinking about forever but haven’t had a platform or a platform where people are willing to listen.

When I read – I jot down ideas and highlights with the goal being that you become part of the conversation too. It starts with a whisper and then over time, two or three words start to form and then sentences, and then paragraphs leading to larger thoughts.

This takes time to build but being human, the bubbling up comes and it almost feels like you have to say something that you can’t hold back anymore.

Back to my story –

I said to my professor, “I have thought about continuing on; however, many Ph.D. programs require you to take three classes the first semester. There is no way I can possibly do that.”

I then began to tell him why. I have to say what I have, by choice and how I can’t physically do it.

There is no one way to achieve your goals or live the way in which you choose. You find your path and live the life you feel is best for you personally.

Yet – especially in school and other systems that have been in place for decades, you may have to push on them, move around them, and jump over them. I described and showed him physically veering right and left with my hand the non-linear school education route and how by doing so, allowed me to be sitting with him in his office.

There have been times where I have had to pause, write a petition, drop-out of a class, cut back, move over here, apply for this program, and with all the supportive gathers, I have been able to achieve some of my goals. I would like to achieve more –

There is not one way or three ways or ten ways to achieve what you want in life. Many paths, so many paths and you find which one works best for you.

Widen the scope, take into account everyone, not a subset of people. This is one poignant aspect that COVID has shown and will assist with in the future.

Folks who find it incredibly difficult to physically go into school, their own body or means by train or car, going online and having that route accepted in universities and communities just opened up the landscape 1,000 fold.

One doesn’t just have to go to a school that is known or dedicated for online courses exclusively – this just opens up every school. I believe some of this will stick around for a while if not forever. I believe, we have to make sure it does.

So my argument – by taking into account disability studies, access, and what can be –

I recently wrote:

The goal is to create language, literature, characters that live and discover ways in which he or she can live with their condition and have full, healthy lives.

Not to try and “overcome” because the opposite of that is a failure, loss, depression, non-existence. Then, they are pitted into a similar trope or myth.

A character disability should not be the subject of the story –

Things noted, the response from my professor:

The structure of graduate education in terms of work and time-to-completion is not appropriate for those with disabilities. There is an unfair timeline that does not account for disability.

But, it also doesn’t account for a side-step.

As technology and life-saving medications are implemented, many folks are having 5-10 chronic illnesses, if not more. Within that, oftentimes people with disabilities, conditions, and other challenges are limited to opportunities and possible life-long opportunities based on the academic structures that extend into private and public sectors.

The ways in which we learn and how to create our best life. 

Every one of us has dreams and for many dreams are not given to us, we have to work for them. We see life, life-styles we wish to be and live. Higher percentages of folks with disabilities are the non-working class and the working-class; and lower percentages in the middle-class and professional classes. Need stats to support.

Yet – it is actually discriminating (especially today) towards people who don’t follow one linear path. It is time to widen the path and look top-down, almost aerial, at all the paths that are possible. Look at what we can do. We need to see folks that have conditions – which if we live long enough all of us will – in leadership roles and every fricken role out there. We just do –

It is wonderful to have these medications that make today less acute; to have this wonderful opportunity to live – but we also want to live our best life. We want our Happiness to be available to us; we do not want our Happiness to be capped, restrained, and sometimes eliminated completely.

We can do all of this and more – every one of us.

How do we do this? 

We change the language, we change the myths, we change the way in which we see each. It starts with our language, literature, and images and unlocks the presumed limitations of people with disabilities – of every one period. Then we create waves of change through our structural support, economic, academic, public, and private sector support.

Honestly – I am arguing for time. More time. I think this is a bigger project than what I intended originally but then you listen more and see.

I can do things; you can do amazing wonderful life-changing things.

We are all trying to do our best, what’s best for ourselves, our families, working towards our goals; engrained in us.

Life is super challenging, right. How many folks have to trade-off time in school, professional opportunities, or in life because of their family? Many if not most families.

Structures have gotten better – but they still need work.

We just need more time and avenues. There is no one way, so why make it so?

I started re-watching Mary Poppins the original – so great. This made me laugh –

Much love on this day. My heart goes out to everyone. There is a lot going on. Take a cue from Maya – she always knows best.

Watch this clip: