Do you hear the swoon of people cheering you on?

I do. 

We have been working for hours and years and finally, gratitude for all of it is showing face.

We are here.

Who the hell knew we would be here?

And for CFers, we are slowly looking like normal people, with color in our faces, and form in our arms and legs. So often I have seen CF people’s legs near the same width as their arms.

My goal all my life has been to stay alive. Stay healthy and maybe go further –

I used to get up and be at the gym 5-530am and run. My legs wound move and my mind would be just waking up but there they went; somehow.

I actually miss running a lot, just 15-20 minutes here and there – nothing crazy. My knees eventually gave in. The cartridge broke down so bad, one or the other would start to swell.

I knew giving up running would affect and effect my lung capacity and it did. It would be easier to lose it, and it has been.

And the surge of the formidable process of aging. It’s definitely become harder after 30-35.

Soon to be 43, I feel the most human. I have more muscle and strength than ever. I can breathe the most fully – yet not perfect. I will never give in or give up, but at times I pause to catch my breath. 

CFers have always have had this terrible time building muscle and weight. And being diabetic has always made it harder. You need the protein to hang on to sustain.

No matter how many calories or fats or proteins we intake, it just didn’t adhere to our bodies. It just wouldn’t stay put and form. The folks who had muscle worked 5, 6, 7 days a week.

Technically CFers aren’t forced to work out but it was highly encouraged and not just that – the slow sincere conversations you had with your providers telling you that “standing up and sitting up straight is super important to take those deep breaths.”

Building strength in your core, back muscles, trapezius muscles, deltoids, etc allows for your posture to stand up.

Eventually, if you don’t, as you get older and lose lung capacity the possibility will increase and you will slowly begin to haunch over. Providers physically show you by using their hands or their bodies to imitate the changes.

In the hospital, PT knocks on your door as soon as they have been given the okay. Usually the second or third day after admission. “Hi, good morning – how do feeling about moving?”

Without a doubt, without working your body your lung scores, your body as a whole will descend – as you just don’t have the supporting muscles to breathe and blow out fast.

And noting, through this extremely difficult year for everyone, I am so thankful for the timing of the new drug. I know just the physical exertion would be so much harder without the medication. Just the lack of air, dehydration, the salt and water imbalance, coughing, bronchospasm aspect of it.

Noting, no matter what medication, I am still vulnerable – we are all vulnerable in some ways, the same as always.

We have to stay the course. We have this one body and each muscle is meant to flex and extend with each movement.

Narrow in – stretch, breathe, and build.

As we get older, and the possibility of ailments arise, our body relies on those years of conditioning. 

Seriously no matter what arises in life, our bodies fall back on what we know and have, and while saying that, I should do more.

But perhaps for a moment, imagine you are on a field and you are stretching and conditioning your limbs and you have an arena of people cheering you on.

Why not? They cheer you on if you aren’t feeling well.

There they are cheering you on, holding you up with their bountiful energy – while you stretch and breathe and build.

You see the goals lined up, and they see the distance perhaps more clearly than you.

Their hands go up and wave and cheer as you extend one leg out, take off, while miraculously the other follows in pace.

There you go – soaring while the cheers get louder.

You hold pace –

Light tracks each step. 

Why not?

Each foot passes the other – bam!

In your own arena, while a swoon of people holding you up.

There you go – – – – without a flinch, without a break in the light –

You and Usain Bolt keep pace, flying around the track.

Each turn curves, soon the both of you zip, fly like a spin top.

Who says?

You say that’s who.

Look at you two go –

Much love. Stay healthy. Happy 4th of July!